Hello and Thank you for sharing.
Most of us women have gone through this at one time or another. It the oldest story of heartbreak ever told. We give our bodies to a person who we think is someone and we soon find out their not special and the dreams of love, happiness that we thouight would come with them have all turned into a lie. We cant understand what happened. We rehearse the days prior to the change and wonder if it was something we said? Did they hear something about me that wasnt true?
Let’s get something straight here: YOU ARE NOT TRASH. Think about what it is you’re calling yourself. Trash is disgusting, something to be discarded, waste. You were created for a divine purpose. Do you think that your birth was some accident? Accidents are an illusion. The word was created in a moment of confusion to explain something we as humans just can’t understand, and that is, that our steps are ordered. You were created to serve a purpose and whatever that might be will be your life’s pursuit. I’m excited for you that you still have the TIME to figure out what that is!! And this episode of confusion is just another reminder to you that your time is running out.
NOTHING JUST HAPPENS
The only thing that was wasted here was your precious time and a sweet heart that you gave to a user. Just because others might not see our worth doesn’t mean we have to forget that we have value. It is true, when the elders say unto you with heads bowed and arms raised, “Sister, he’s not worthy of you!” This isn’t a rehearsed response. It is the truth. There’s a question on the inside of your heart that no one can answer except for you. It is the question of why.
Why would he treat me this way? I could tell you the horror stories of my dating life and the gory details of my crushed and bloodied heart that has been dragged around on the sharp nails and salty sands of the earth, but it is way too early for Halloween and I hope you’ll just take my word for it. But what I can tell you is this: Most men will treat a woman the way she lets him treat her. I know, I know, you’ve heard that, before, right? I’ll be more specific. All those times, he said he’d call you back and didn’t. When you called and he texted you back or when after a year, he still refused to call you his girlfriend, because he didn’t to put titles on your relationship but you continued to sleep with him anyways. Or the many times you caught him in a lie or even with other women and you still took him back and kept sleeping with him. And after all this time of fighting for his affections he still chooses to be with someone else. Don’t allow yourself to be any one’s door mat. Don’t allow someone to make a promise to you that they didn’t keep without calling them out on it. A man will give more serious attention to a woman who exercises personal boundary lines and isn’t willing to take any bullshit. You have this strength. Where did it go? Who took it from you? GO GET IT BACK! No man is worth sacrificing your own good sense for. The deeper why is this. What was it about this boy that made you give not only your mind to, but your body as well?
There was something deep inside of you that told you to get out of this but you didn’t. Something that said in a whisper that he really doesn’t love you. What was it that made you continue on even when you knew in your heart that he wasnt the one? Only you can answer those questions because only you know the answers and it has nothing to do with him. Once you answer your own why’s and deal with them positively, will you be able to be untied from him. For me, it was low self-esteem. Somewhere along in my life I was told something negative about me and love and I believed it. I believed that I wasn’t worthy to be loved, so when someone left me, it was like that lie was reinforced all over again. Believing a lie is like eating from an empty bowl. You are bound to starve.
He told you he loved you because he knew that is what you wanted to hear. Anything to keep pushing his agenda of using you until the thing he was waiting on showed up. In his mind, he just might love you. Remember that’s according to what he considers love to be. But if this is his idea of love, do you really want it? That shit hurts! I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be with someone who doesn’t make me feel like shit about myself. Love is uplifting and empowering. If it makes you question your worth and your own existence on this planet then it’s just not worth your time. How much time do you think you have exactly?